What is it about starting a new year that fills one with a complex mixture of optimism and secret despondency?
Maybe it’s because we have such good memories.
I was telling my husband the other day that my goals for the past five years haven’t changed:
- Get closer to God
- Lose weight
- Write more
- Travel more
- Finally get my honours degree
Something along that vein.
In every promise of something new and beautiful, hides the possibility of failure. We want to try again – but we remember the sharp sting of failure lash across our resolve. Like a beautiful walk along the sea shore suddenly marred by stepping on a jelly fish (or ‘blue bottle’ as it is commonly known).
So we shrink back. Become more cautious.
I love John Maxwell’s take on the “sometimes you win, sometimes you lose” truism. His twist on it is: “sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.”
In my personal life, I feel like I have only now been ‘awakened’ to the reality of my life. The preceding 33 years feel like a prelude to the real story of my life. I have often felt like my attempts at overcoming a mountain of defeat has been ‘wasted’.
But maybe I have arrived at this precipice of personal growth precisely because whenever I felt like I could not take one more step; God gave me the strength to keep moving forward.
So I make the decision again to keep walking, to keep trusting, to keep learning. And if I get stung again by the pain of mistakes (which will most likely be the case), I will document the lesson and chalk it up to experience.
In walking the pathway of purpose, my character is refined and I grow into the true person God made me to be.
Isn’t that the journey?